Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Mrs Jones: Yes, very much.
Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste.
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A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work toappear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day. "WHAT FOR?!?!?" he snapped at the judge. The Judge, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!" Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:"That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The guy replied, "I know - I'm just seeing if I have enough for 2 more words!"
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The husband returns home one day and tells his wife, "Hi honey, look, I've bought the new Rolling Stones CD."
"Why did you do that?! We don't even have a CD player!" replied the wife.. "So what... have I ever asked why you keep on buying bras?"
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