26 May 2010

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"
"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."
"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"
"I couldn't," she replied, "There was no one there."

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A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Got any fresh fruit?"
"No."
"Got any fresh vegetables?"
"No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns. "Got any fresh fruit?"
"No."
"Got any fresh vegetables?"
"No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor."
On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any nails?"
"No."
"Got any fresh fruit?"

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The Reverend, Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven." "I don't think I'll be there," the boy said. "You don't even know your way to the post office."

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A blonde walks into an appliance store and says, "I would like to buy that T.V. please." The store clerk replies, "I'm sorry, we don't do business with blondes." So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said, "I would like to buy that T.V. please." The store clerk, once again, replies, "Sorry, we don't do business with blondes." The blonde replied, "How did you know I was blonde?" The clerk says, "Because thats a microwave, not a T.V."

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A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it ''Curl Up and Dye.''


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The frightened tourist: Are there any bats in this cave?
The guide: There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them.