*******************************
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.
A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
*******************************
My wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.
She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"
The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."
*******************************
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that... she called me to get my phone number
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
she tried to put M and M's in alphabetical order
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she tried to drown a fish
she thought a quarterback was a refund
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
she tripped over a cordless phone
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
she studied for a blood test
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that... she called me to get my phone number
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
she tried to put M and M's in alphabetical order
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she tried to drown a fish
she thought a quarterback was a refund
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
she tripped over a cordless phone
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
she studied for a blood test
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
No comments:
Post a Comment