26 June 2010

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."


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The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. December 18, 1992Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the culprits in the act. The burglars came back and were captured on tape, which Schmidt turned over to the sheriff. Among the items the burglars took from Schmidt's house was a box containing eight marijuana plants. Schmidt was charged with misdemeanor drug possession.

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There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear tothe wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day afterday. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to,so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

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A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"

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A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor. 

Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation. 

Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick. 

Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning? 

Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job. 

Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive? 

Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined. 

Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept? 

Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead. 

Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container. 

Trucker: Yeah, that? s right. All lead. 

Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him for radiation poisoning. 

Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning.