HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently.
HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air Pulls up to a 7 -11 Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway. Gets back into car. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was. Almost hits a deer Curses the night Curses you Curses the large slurpee Drives and fiddles with radio. Yells at you for suggesting the map again Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway. He hates your sister. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel He had to look up pernicious. Couldn't find a dictionary. Finally found a dictionary Couldn't spell pernicious. Seethes at the memory of it all But she is laughing inside... And of course you're still lost.
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There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.
Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan! "
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.
The fare was US$300.
The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive! "
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"
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An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's , they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going? " He replies, "To the kitchen. " She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream? " He replies, "Sure. " She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it? " He says, "No, I can remember that. " She then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that. " He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. " She replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down. " With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that. " He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. "Don't let me spoil a good time for you," she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed. After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, "I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around. " She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched. There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered that they should go outside. Going to one of the cars, they made love. Prior to the midnight unmasking, she left and went home to wait for her husband to return so she could confront him. He arrived home about 1:00 a.m. and climbed into bed. She sat up and asked "Well, how was the party? " He replied, "It was no fun without you honey." She said, "I don't believe you. I bet you had lots of fun! " He replied, "Really, Honey. When I got to the party, some of the guys and I got bored and we went downstairs and played poker all night. But you know, that guy I loaned my costume to had one hell of a great time."
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