'Hey you!' he shouted, ' don't pull the cat's tail!'
'I'm not pulling!' replied the little boy.
'I'm only holding on - the cat's pulling!'
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A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO..." She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "Be silent!" There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE..."
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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-David Bissonnette
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
-Henry Youngman
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
-Laurence J. Peter
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-Unknown
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-Lily Tomlin
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
-John Barrymore
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
-Robert Frost
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
-Mistinguette
Absence -- that common cure of love.
-Miguel De Cervantes
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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Doctor: We operated on your eyes and we've managed to save one of them.
Patient: Oh, thank you very much.
Doctor: Yes, we'll give it to you on your way out.
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