Life before computers
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage,not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public, you'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
**********************************
Bill is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Bill just dates and dates. Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Bill replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear old Mother?"
Many weeks go by and again Bill and his friend get together. "So Bill. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?"
Bill shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became fast friends."
"So are you and this girl engaged, yet?"
"I'm afraid not, my Father can't stand her!"
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