3 August 2010

A young Catholic priest decided to enter a monastery. He joined one particularly strict sect. 
The head monk told him, at his indoctrination, that they were sworn to TOTAL silence. 
They could not speak one word at all. 
However, every ten years, they would be permitted to speak two words. 


After 10 years of total silence, the head monk indicated it was now time for him to speak his two words. 
The monk said, "Bed hard!" 
And then he resumed his silent study and work. 


Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. 
The monk said, "Food bad!" 
And then he resumed his silent study and work. 


Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. 
The monk said, "I quit!"


The head monk shook his head and said, "I knew this was coming. You've done nothing but complain for the past 30 years!"



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A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" 
"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." 
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. 
"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down." 
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. 
"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.