"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you cook better now. "
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A mother was having dinner with her two young children when her three year old daughter asked her why there were two holes in your nose. Her four year old son quickly responded with, "So you can still breath when you pick your nose!"
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A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a muttering word of protest, the old man gets up from his seat and quietly leaves the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he!" And the waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles!"
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A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party? "
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party? "
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
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Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.
A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
A: The outside.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.
A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
A: A watch dog.
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