Officer: What's your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: What's your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: For the last time, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!
Shut Up: Shut Up!
Officer: Are you looking for Trouble?
Shut Up: Yeah, we lost him about 2 miles back.
Officer: Where's your Manners?
Shut Up: Back there pickin' up Poop.
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A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The first blonde answered, "That's easy! We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman said, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily replied, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and said, in a very testy voice, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "And think hard before answering, so you don't say something completely idiotic." The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "Hmmmm... The suspect wears contact lenses. " The policeman was stunned speechless, because he honestly didn't know whether the suspect wore contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer... Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that." He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file in his computer, and came back beaming. "Wow!" he said, "I can't believe it... It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! But how were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses, because he only has one eye and one ear."
*************************
How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes!
What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
Data transfer.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
I wonder if it's mine?
How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a package of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
Because she read that one child out of every four born, was Chinese.
Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
She couldn't learn the route.
Why did the blonde drive around the block fifty-seven times?
Her turn signal was stuck.
Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.
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