Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #349

** Lawnmower Jokes **

1) 'My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.'

2) Kev and Bill were talking one day. 'My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the greengrocer's,' said Kevin.
'So were you able to find some?" enquired Bill.

'Well when I got to the shop, I asked the manager, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'' Kevin continued, 'The shopkeeper told me, 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.''

3) One afternoon a rich man was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'

'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'

'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the rich man said.

'But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.'

'Bring them along,' the rich man replied. Turning to the other
poor man he announced, 'You come with us, also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me.'

'Bring them all, as well,' the rich fellow answered.
They all climb in the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the rich gent and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'

The rich man replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.'