Friday, March 18, 2011

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #314

** Gaffes **

* Famous People's Funny Gaffes

1) So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? Christina Aguilera

2) Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf: Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh in 1999, to young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band.

3) If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it: Prince Philip at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting.

4) My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never, never, surrender to what is right: Dan Quayle [former Vice President USA]

5) Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal: General Eisenhower Allied Commander Europe in 2nd World War

6) If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive: Samuel Goldwyn

* Sporting Gaffes

1) I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. Stuart Pearce [former England soccer player]

2) Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot: Ray Wilkins [former England soccer player] speaking on BBC1 TV.

3) For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip: John Motson - BBC TV football commentator.

4) Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer: David Acfield [former cricketer and TV commentator].

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