7 November 2010

When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?" Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill -"So why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans... I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash!"



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Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.


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A man driving on the highway is pulled up by a police officer on a bike. The officer says, "Pull over," and the driver pulls over to the side of the road. He says, "I'm sorry, officer, was I speeding?" The police officer says, "No, mate, but your wife fell out of the car a mile back. "The man replies, "Oh, that explains it. I thought I was going deaf!"

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A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said,
"About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"